


when you go away (i still see you)

by ZOMBIECB97



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aussie Bros, Bang Chan & Lee Felix - Freeform, Bang Chan is Whipped, Bang Chan/Lee Felix - Freeform, Boys In Love, Boys in dresses, ChanLix, Chris Bang - Freeform, Christopher Bang - Freeform, Comfort/Angst, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kpop fic, Love, M/M, Sad Bang Chan, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Song Lyrics, Teen Angst, based on a cas song, but dont worry more chanlix will be coming soon hopefully, chan and felix, chan loves felix in a dress, chanlix are so important to me, chris is so desparately in love pls, cigarettes after sex, felix in a dress bc i said so, felix is a wanderer, felix lee - Freeform, he comes and he goes and it's hard for chan to handle, how tf do i tag lmao, i hope i did them justice with this, i wrote this to distract myself from current world events lol, kpop, my babies chanlix, my first chanlix fic, skz - Freeform, stray kids - Freeform, sunsetz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:15:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27381037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZOMBIECB97/pseuds/ZOMBIECB97
Summary: “I want you to take me back to your house.” Felix bit his lip as soon as the words had left his mouth. He didn’t even have time to process them, they just kind of… slipped.“You want me to do /what/?” Chris all but shouted in his face, and Felix should’ve expected this kind of reaction.orfelix is a wanderer and goes where he pleases without leaving much behind. chris is in love and he wants felix, even when he leaves him every time.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, chanlix - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	when you go away (i still see you)

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this to distract myself from everything stressing me out right now :)
> 
> song inspo: sunsetz by cigarettes after sex

It was around 3:00 AM when Chris left his house through the back door. Walking to the park he used to frequent as a child didn’t take long at all, especially when he quickened his pace every time he stepped out of the glowing sanctuary of a streetlight planted every few hundred feet. One of them would flicker so often and it would only cause Chris to move faster, closer to his destination. Soon, the tallest slide came into view, then the rock wall, then the monkey bars, until his eyes landed on the swings. There, sitting in one of the seats swinging back and forth, was the reason he left his house at such an ungodly hour of the night. There, sat their town’s wanderer, Lee Felix.

He could hear Felix’s feet dragging against the mulch until he came to a complete stop from where he was walking, still outside of the fenced-in area of the park. He strained his eyes as hard as he could so he could try and see the boy’s entire appearance in the darkness, but to no avail. He would have to get closer where there was another streetlight putting Felix in the spotlight.

“Channie?” he heard then, a pitch higher than his voice usually was when he spoke to him. He could sense the slight fear in his tone.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he reassured him, now inside the fenced-in area, passing by the tallest slide, then the rock wall, then the monkey bars, until he was closing in on the now relieved boy sitting on his swing. He was wearing a dress Chris recognized from the mall when they had taken a trip down there a couple weeks ago. He didn’t buy it then, but told Chris how much he adored it. He must’ve adored it so much that he went back and bought it, but Chris wasn’t complaining.

As he came to sit down on the swing beside Felix, he took the time to fully inspect him. He always had to do it every time he saw him just to make sure he didn’t miss something new. Felix was always changing, but Chris didn’t mind. He liked the excitement of finding what was new about him since he didn’t get to see him as much as he _wanted._

The dress mentioned earlier was a frilly little thing, black and thin with a line of buttons down the middle of the front, holding it together. Even with Felix sitting down, Chris could tell it accentuated his body shape in all the right places. He loved it, so he told him.

“I remember that dress. It looks good on you,” Chris was smiling sickly sweet as he eyed the other boy, and all Felix could do was turn as red as a tomato and laugh, light and airy.

“Look,” Felix said excitedly, gesturing downwards and hiking the dress up his thighs a bit. When Chris looked down, he noticed black tights hugging his long legs. They were a bit see through but that made them all the more… _wow._ Felix was just _wow_. That made Chris breathless. “You look good in those tights, too. You should wear them more often.”

“Really? I bought them just last week and I’ve been trying to style them… I wanted to show them to you anyways so I’ll keep that in mind, thank you,” he said softly, and somehow he got even redder, and somehow Chris’s heart swelled even more.

“Well, did you only call me down here so I could give you endless compliments and restore your self esteem?” the oldest said jokingly, his eyebrows raised just a tad in the younger’s direction. That made him laugh again, and he shook his head before replying.

“It’s nice, but no. You know that.” and Chris _did_ know that. This was just the beginning. “Now, come.”

One of his tiny hands was outstretched towards Chris as he stood up, the dress flowing slightly in the wind that had suddenly picked up. He looked Felix up and down yet again now that he could get a real good look at him, and noticed the boy physically shiver from head to toe. That’s all Chris needed for him to stand up, shrug off his jacket, and wrap it around the smaller boy’s shoulders before taking his hand and letting him lead him to the mulch underneath the rock wall.

As they got settled underneath the protection of the wall, Chris looked up for a second and saw the moonlight shining down on them through the cracks in the playground floor. He sighed softly to himself before turning his attention back to his reason for being up so late. His Felix.

“What have you been doing lately?” _I miss you._ But Chris didn’t say that last part out loud; he couldn’t. But Felix still knew deep down he _wanted_ to, but he answered like he was clueless.

“Traveling, adventuring, exploring… You know, the usual.” he said calmly, eyes trained on a piece of mulch he was messing with between his fingers, which were almost not visible now that he had put Chris’s jacket on correctly and was swimming in it.

“Seen anything new? Anything out of the ordinary?” he asked, the same old questions he’s said before, but he was genuinely interested. He felt like he knew almost nothing about the younger even though they’d been meeting for over a year now and he’d been asking questions like these the whole time.

Felix stopped moving the piece of mulch between his fingers to give Chris a look, “In this old town? Please, not a thing has changed. You _also_ know that.” he huffed out, and he took that as the time to shift his position so that his head was now resting in Chris’s lap. It was embarrassing how fast Chris’s right hand made its way to his now silver hair so he could play with it.

“I guess you’re right, sorry for asking. I was just curious.” Chris said in a quieter voice, his brain only focused on brushing his fingers through Felix’s hair. A small hand on his cheek brought him out of his brief moment.

“Don’t be sorry,” a soft smile, a soft voice, a soft touch. Chris’s heart ached with _want_ in his chest. “Maybe one day, when I’m able to go much, much farther from here, I’ll let you come with me. We’ll experience the change together, how about that?” Felix suggested, and Chris knew it was a loose promise, if he could even call it that, because Felix came and went as he pleased all by himself. There was no such thing as traveling in a group, only pit stops to check in on all of the people he’s met along the way. Well, Chris didn’t want to be a pit stop anymore.

“I’d like to stay with you for longer than an hour at a time,” and he was kind of being petty, sue him, but he was restless, “so I’d say that’s a great idea if you’d really consider it. You know I’m tired of this place, too.”

Felix’s eyes were sad at this, but Chris’s were sadder. Felix must have felt the pain emitting from the older boy’s aura stabbing right through him because he sat up, suddenly, and used the hand that was already on Chris’s cheek to bring him close until their lips met in the middle. Chris felt tears spring to his eyes because of the contact.

He reached out immediately and scooped the dainty boy up so that he was sat in his lap, his dress splaying out nicely over Chris’s black ripped jeans. His hands didn’t mean to be aggressive, they were just desperate as they grabbed onto Felix’s waist and held him tightly against his own body. Felix hummed against his lips, drawing an almost pitiful whine out of Chris, then went to grab a fistful of his curly dark hair.

They didn’t kiss a lot, only when Felix could sense that Chris was hurting more than he would say out loud, even though he knew it would just hurt him more in the end. He didn’t know how to fix it other than to give him what he knew he _wanted_ , even though he knew it couldn’t last. The wanderer felt bad, he truly did, but he just couldn’t deny the desire radiating off of the older boy. It wasn’t even sexual, it was just pure _love_.

“Baby,” Felix cooed, pulling away when he could feel Chris starting to shake. He knew what was coming, so he wasn’t surprised to see the tears trailing their way down his pale cheeks. He was only surprised at the fact that he didn’t taste them before he pulled back to look at his face.

“Chris, hey,” Felix tried again, but it didn’t work, the older just sat there crying quietly and sniffling up a storm with his hands still placed firmly on Felix’s waist, not letting him go as though he’d just slip right out of his fingertips and be gone forever; his biggest fear-

“ _Hyung,_ look at me.”

With one more sniff, Chris wiped his nose on his sleeve and looked up at Felix with a look he could only describe as unadulterated adoration. He looked like a pained puppy, and it was horribly beautiful to see him like this. All torn apart and bare for Felix, to see all his insides and all his feelings like this whenever they would meet up. It would always happen like this, and Felix knew what he would have to do next, but something in him was aggressively refusing to go down that path this time. He had no idea what it meant, but he felt like the look on Chris’s face had something to do with it.

“I want you to take me back to your house.” Felix bit his lip as soon as the words had left his mouth. He didn’t even have time to process them, they just kind of… slipped.

“You want me to do _what_?” Chris all but shouted in his face, and Felix should’ve expected this kind of reaction.

“I want _you_ ,” Felix paused after putting emphasis on the last word, “To take _me_ back to _your house.”_ He tried again, slowly this time so Chris could process what he said.

And honestly, it looked like it didn’t take long to register in his brain, because Felix physically saw all the light find its way back into Chris’s eyes as he muttered an, “ _Oh, fuck’s sake,”_ under his breath while trying his hardest to wrap Felix up in his arms and stand up at the same time without getting tangled in the younger's dress. Once he was situated with Felix wrapped tightly around his front, he was making a break for it. Out from underneath the rock wall they went, through the fence entrance, and out into the street with the flickering streetlights to guide his way. All the while, Felix was giggling in his ear as his black dress flew about around them, and it sounded like the gates of heaven had opened up and all the angels had revealed themselves to him.

This wasn’t the same old routine they wore down to the bone every time they crossed each other’s paths. This felt like the entire purpose of Felix leaving him to be free, so he could _see_ things in a new light. He _wanted_ something different. This _was_ different. This was _good._ This… this was what Chris had _wanted_ all along. And he thanked whoever was listening that the younger had finally caught on.

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHH i've finally posted something for chanlix (my ult ship) and i don't think it's half bad lol... i've written lots more tho, it's just taking the time to actually finish them up and post them heh... hopefully those will still be posted in the future! in the mean time, pls enjoy this and leave kudos and comments telling me you liked it so i can feel validated :') thank you for reading i love yall so much <3
> 
> twitter & insta: ZOMBIECB97


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